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Homicidal Wonderings

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I am so angry right now I don't know whether to set shit on fire or just staple myself to death.

My parents seemed to be working really hard on getting their house on the market for this year.

And then, apropos of nothing, my father told my mother that he doesn't want to move.  He doesn't want to give up his job, and he doesn't want to move.

Some of you may know that my father has some mental health issues, paranoia being the most rampant of them.

I don't know if he is scared to move, or what the fuck his problem is.  What I do know is he's a selfish prick and I could kill him right now.  I'm sorry that he's afraid of everything.  What I cannot forgive is his insistence that we all live according to his fears.

My mother is about at the end of her rope.  And I can't blame her.  I'm about there with her.  I was supposed to move in with best friend for like, 6 months.  We're now on our fourth year.  Is this fair to her?  Hell no. 

I want to scream so bad.  I want to scream at my father even worse, but I know that won't do me a damn bit of good.  He'll turtle up and it will be like talking to a brick wall.

 


What the fuck happens from here I have no idea.  Maybe at the age of 41 I'll be a child of divorce yet.  My mother said she's going to proceed with trying to get the house on the market, but how much can she do by herself when she gets no help?   I'm 400 miles away.  There's not much I can do.

So angry right now.



Current Music:
Jason and the Scorchers
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What's been going on?

I have no idea.

It's 4 days until Christmas.  All I need is cards for my parents.  So I'm in good shape there.

I realized I'm still in love with Cute IS Guy and it bothers me.

Also, people who ride bikes in snowstorms, need to be set on fire.  That is a judgment call and I am making it.

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I hate summer.  I know that there are people who love it, I am not amongst their number.

It's been bloody hot and humid and all I want to do is sit in a nice air conditioned room and read and apply makeup to myself.

Had third date with boy, and totally misread signals and got no kisses, because I am a moron.  Here's a hint, when a guy offers to walk you to your door, let him.

Current Music:
Megaherz
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Things that make me crazy:

The assertion that men feel like society treats them like they're not "relevant" anymore.  No.  What you are feeling is loss of privilege.  That is what you are feeling.  You don't want to feel "relevant" as much as you want to turn the clock back so you can go back to feeling like kings of your castle.

Not happening in this country unless a lot of evangelical Christians get their way, and I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon.

You have to deal with women, at least in public, on an equal footing.  Get used to it. 

Sure, maybe women don't "need" men the way they used to.  Isn't it better to be wanted anyways?  Or do you prefer being needed because it means that a woman will stay in a relationship with you if only because she can't go anywhere else because she can't support herself?  THAT makes you feel better than her staying with you because she wants you and wants to stay with you?  Really?

Oh this shit makes my brain start bleeding out my ears.


Current Mood:
annoyed annoyed
Current Music:
Megaherz
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I have no idea how I am. 

I might have a date tomorrow.  I might not.  And it's okay either way. 

I have a craving for oranges, but alas, I have noone to peel them for me.  Sucks to be me!

The Bruins are pissing me off.

I just want to go to archery and shoot things.


Current Mood:
contemplative contemplative
Current Music:
Megaherz
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So, thanks to stupid Icelandic volcano, I have to change my vacation.  I am bummed.  I am even more bummed because I don't know if I can get all my airfare back, because it was a non-refundable ticket, and getting a hold of anyone at Lufthansa has, thus far, proved impossible. I have spent 6 hours on hold this weekend, including 2 hours this morning.  I'm on hold with them again.  

And I know that this is just a vacation, nobody is dead.  And I do know that, and I appreciate it.  I think I'd feel better if I could freaking get a hold of a person.

Current Mood:
annoyed annoyed
Current Music:
Megaherz
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I saw a picture of one of those Teabagger type people.

He was wearing a sign.  Actually all the words were spelled correctly, which was a bit of a wonder.

What did the sign say?

It said that The American TaxPayers Are The Jews For Obama's Ovens.

Yes.  You read that correctly.

This person is comparing paying taxes to the Holocaust.

This person is comparing paying taxes to a systematic genocide.

This person is comparing paying taxes to an attempt to wipe out a race through mass murder.

I have visited Dachau.  There is a miasma of despair that still hangs over it.  You could walk in there, not knowing anything about it's history, and you would know this was an evil blighted place.  One of my favorite professors from college was an Auschwitz survivor.  She was a member of the Czech resistance, and was caught smuggling Jews over the border into Hungary, and spent 2 years at Auschwitz for it.    My parents landlord when I was a little girl was a gentleman who had lost his whole family at Auschwitz.  Jack was a sweet gentle man who loved to cook me gefilte fish and fed me matzo ball soup at the picnic table in his backyard.

I haven't had any respect for these "tea party" people beforehand, not just because they can't spell, but because I honestly, truly believe that a lot of their "problems" stem from the fact that Obama is not a white guy, but they'll never say that.

But this?

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUSLY WHINING ABOUT PAYING TAXES AND COMPARING YOURSELF TO SOMEONE 
WHO DIED IN THE HOLOCAUST?  ARE YOU FUCKING REALLY DOING THAT?????

I am so outraged and I'm just like, do you have no sense of proportion, or of common human decency?  Would you go up to someone who was dying of cancer and whine about a hangnail? 

I just don't even know how to make my outrage coherent.  It's like, do you even KNOW the slightest bit about what you're trying to talk about?  Do you understand that the scale of human suffering that we are talking about here does not translate into OMG paying more tax SO BAD? 


 

What is WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!??!?!?!




Current Mood:
angry angry
Current Music:
Megaherz
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I mean really.  Someone is wrong on the internet.  So you feel the need to post increasingly long winded and at times, hysterically ranting, posts to prove that this person is wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

Really?

GET A LIFE.

Current Mood:
amused amused
Current Music:
Megaherz
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It's been the better part of a year.  You would think, by now, I'd be over it.  No, you'd think wrong.  I wish I didn't work with him.  That would make life so much easier.

Days can go by, I'll see him, talk to him, and I'm fine. 

And then just one time, for whatever reason, I'll look at him and this wave of sad lonely unhappy misery descends over me.  And I get despondent and upset, and then I get more upset because I say to myself "This is OVER and HAS BEEN OVER for quite a while.  What the hell is wrong with you?" and that doesn't make it any better.

Now I'll be spending a good portion of today trying not to cry and not be miserable. 

Current Music:
Eisbrecher
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Formerly Cute I.S. Guy bought me an iced coffee.

I'm so confused.

Current Music:
The Proclaimers
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